Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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