is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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