yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize