as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
