At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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