She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She bit a glass in half.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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