Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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