belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
