what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
