You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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