my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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