i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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