You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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