When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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