WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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