i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
