thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
