Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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