no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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