I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Randomize