home. puking in laundry basket.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
