I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
