she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
