Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
