don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
