See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Sext me about skeletons
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
