just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
