So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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