Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
