it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
