My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it because I queefed?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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