Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
