Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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