yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
