He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
