If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
