"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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