Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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