I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
