Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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