Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
