thus making me awesome and them whores
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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