brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
