As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
