Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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