Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
