A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
