Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
