apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Congratulations! We have a period
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