I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
