The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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