I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
