I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
