He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
