thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
