just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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