I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
