Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
