hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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