we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
