I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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