Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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