She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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