Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
