I hope mine doesn't look like that
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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