Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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